“The way that we talk to our children becomes their inner voice” ~ Peggy O’MaraPositive affirmations are associated with many benefits: they can increase children’s creativity, confidence, self-esteem, and self-compassion and have also been found to lead to emotional well-being. However, teaching children to adopt positive affirmations has its fair share of challenges. As one study suggests, teaching your child to use positive affirmations cannot work if those affirmations are unrealistic. In other words, if your son is convinced that he is a poor runner, asking him to utter a positive mantra such as “I am a fast runner” won’t work. When you think about it, this makes sense. Trying positive affirmations with kids is also tricky because children respond better to specific and explanatory affirmations. “I am a fast runner because I practice for 10 minutes every day”. “I am kind because I share my toys” rather than “I am kind”. Problem is, making affirmations conditional means that if your daughter ever refuses to share her toys, then that logically makes her “unkind”. An alternative approach to promote your child’s self-esteem is to foster a positive affirmation environment in your home by focusing on words that build him/her up. The words you speak to your children can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Your children can carry these words with them throughout their lives. Indeed, just as wounds inflicted in childhood can have consequences that last beyond the childhood years, positive words can have a positive impact extending well into adulthood.
100 things every kid needs to hear to develop a positive self-image
- I love you
- I love you just the way you are
- I’m here
- I’ll always be here
- I’m so proud of you
- I was so proud of you when you (…)
- You make me laugh
- It’s okay
- It’s not a big deal
- It doesn’t matter
- What do you need?
- I’m listening
- Let’s talk about it
- Let me think about it
- I’m sorry
- I was wrong
- These things happen
- I know you didn’t mean to
- I forgive you
- Forgive me
- I believe in you
- I need your help
- I need a hug
- I love your hugs
- Do you need a hug?
- Don’t give up
- I know you’ll make it
- You’re such a kind sister/brother
- You are so great with (…)
- You’ll make a great (…)
- You’ll be great
- I know you’re going to be awesome
- You have what it takes
- You’re going to nail it
- I’ll help you
- What do you want me to help you with?
- You can try again tomorrow
- What can I do?
- Let’s do this together
- We’re in this together
- I understand
- I’ll go with whatever you decide
- Help me understand
- You can be anything you want to be
- Let’s hang out
- I think you’re so cool
- I’m glad you’re here
- You’re fun to be around
- Can you show me what to do?
- You tell the most interesting stories
- There’s only one you in the entire world
- You mean the world to me
- Yes!
- I know you’ll make the right decision
- It’s your decision
- We’ll find the solution
- What do you want to do?
- What do you think?
- We’ll try out your suggestion
- You always have such great ideas
- You have such great memory
- I know you did your best
- You are my sunshine!
- You are good enough
- You don’t have to be perfect
- You don’t have to be like your friends/sisters/classmates
- Thanks for trying
- Thanks for being such a great kid
- You can stop if you want to
- You can ask me anything
- I’ll try my best
- I like seeing you happy
- You are my greatest priority
- You were right
- That’s a great question
- I don’t know
- I like hanging out with you
- You have such an interesting way of (…)
- Wow! How did you think of that?
- Come with me.
- I enjoy your company.
- You make me smile
- You’ve got the best smile ever
- You’re gorgeous
- Yes, you can!
- It’s okay to fail
- It will get better
- I miss you/I’ll miss you/I missed you
- It will be okay
- You are where you belong
- You look great
- It’s great how you always defend your opinions
- I respect you
- You deserve respect
- You always finish first!
- I know you’ll achieve great things!
- We’re lucky to have you
- We wouldn’t be the same without you
- I was thinking about that time you (…)
- I was telling (…) how funny/interesting/kind/thoughtful you are
