If you're in the NICU right now, I know you don’t have the time—or the headspace—for a long, wordy article. I’ve been there. Taking in information when you’re running on empty is nearly impossible. So, let me keep this short and sweet.
I’ve come up with a little acronym to help you get through: NICU. Easy to remember!
But first, hi! I’m Georgina, and I spent 435 days in hospitals with my beautiful son. Yes, 435 days. I’ve been through three NICUs across England, and if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that those little ones are tougher than they look—and so are we. On with my advice:
It’s all about staying in the present. When your baby is in the NICU, your mind loves to jump ahead, imagining every possible future. I get it, I’ve been there. But trust me: the future is just an idea. Focus on what’s right in front of you. What’s your next step? What’s happening right now? Take a breath, wiggle your toes, and remember your body is always in the present, even when your mind isn’t.
You can try a great grounding exercise: 5,4,3,2,1.
Look for 5 things you can see,
4 things you can hear,
3 things you can touch,
2 things you can smell,
1 thing you can taste.
Catch yourself when you start to spiral and bring yourself back by doing this exercise.
You’re going to get bombarded with information, and it can feel like you’re drowning in it. Ask questions—seriously, there are no stupid ones. Take notes, record voice memos on your phone if you need to (and can). Skip the late-night Google deep dives; trust the medical team. They know your baby, Google doesn’t. Oh, and attend the ward rounds. You’re part of the team, not just a bystander. Your role as a parent is huge—never forget that. You will know your baby, so trust that knowing.
Even if your baby seems so fragile, remember they’re still your baby. I couldn’t hold my son for the first nine days, and that was brutal, but I was still there—talking, reading books, just being close. Your voice is their comfort; it’s the most familiar sound to them.
When it’s safe, get your hands on them. Skin-to-skin is powerful. My son was on a ventilator for months, but the nurses made sure I could hold him for hours each day. Yes, it took three of them to make it happen, but it was worth it. I treasure that time—I remember watching Christmas films on my phone, using headphones, with my baby on my chest on a ventilator. It was our normal, and I loved it.
Caring for yourself is essential, too. I had a little pack of goodies in my bag and even my own cutlery. There’s nothing worse than trying to eat lunch without cutlery when you need it! In my little pack I had:
Hand cream (after all the washing and sterilising, you’ll need it)
Cutlery (can’t eat soup without a spoon!)
Things to mix with hot water (hot chocolate, cuppa soup—for times when you need comfort)
Chocolate
Sweets
Cereal bar (nut-free, as NICUs need to be a nut-free zone)
A water bottle (a BIG one—you need to stay hydrated)
A book
A phone charger
A charging bar
Earphones
Paracetamol
Whether you’re in this with a partner, family, or going solo, staying connected is everything. Talk about your worries and fears, even if you think they sound silly. People deal with stress in different ways, and that’s okay. Be patient with each other. You don’t have to handle things the same way, but being together helps with the tough days.
Stay united: eat together, take breaks, and give each other time to process things in the way that works for both of you. You don’t have to be there every single minute of the day. It’s not healthy—you need to eat and look after yourself too. The more you neglect yourself, the more reactive and stressed you’ll become.
Be united with family and friends. Set up a group chat for baby updates on WhatsApp so you only have to text once. We had one, and it saved me so much energy. Speak to other parents and carers in the NICU—they know what you’re going through. I forged lifelong friendships with the people I met because they totally get it. That shared experience is everything.
From one NICU parent to another: trust yourself. NICU babies are fighters, and I’m rooting for you. If you know anyone in the NICU, please share this with them—with all my love.
Georgina x
Georgina Jones
Author