I wonder how many times parents say “no” to their kids through their lifetime. Studies reveal that there is value in teaching kids the meaning and importance of “no.” An article in The New York Times details findings of research showing that the less children have, the more creative and resourceful they become. The more we provide children with every little thing they ask for, the more we stifle their creativity and problem-solving skills. The ramifications of kids not taking disapproval or refusal of permission seriously are vast and deep. But, this isn’t an article about saying “no.” An excerpt from an article in CHILD magazine discusses the benefit of saying “yes” to play. “A pay-off of active play with kids is that the more time we spend in their world, the more co-operative they’re likely to be when we want them to join our world, whether it’s a trip to the store or a visit to an aunt.” Essentially, if we say yes to their creative, imaginative, big ideas as often as possible, when we do say “no” or need to have high expectations of their behavior, they’ll step up and meet the challenge. I definitely want my children to bring their big ideas for the purpose of meeting a challenge. So I’m trying to say yes more often. It goes without saying (I hope!) that I use good parenting judgement, consider safety, appropriateness, yadda yadda. I don’t passively let my kids do whatever they want. Here are some examples: “Will you play this game with me, mama?” “Absolutely!” “Can I watch another show?” “Nope. Not right now.” “Can we do that experiment again we did the other day?” “Definitely sometime soon!” Every time I am able to agree to something my child wants to explore, play, or learn, his face lights up. I can see confidence growing. To add some flavor to this “yes parent” approach, I made a list of affirmative answers. Agreement and a vocabulary building lesson? Lead on!
There's been a lot of change for dads in a short period of time. Today they work as many hours as previous generations, but do three times the childcare and twice the housework as dads a generation ago. In this interview, Scott Behson, PhD, author of "The Working Dad's Survival Guide" talks about how working dads can create a more balanced life of family, work, and self, and how employers can help make it happen.
With a few practical tips and strategies in place, you can stay on top of your other responsibilities so you don’t feel overwhelmed by too many changes at once.
Being a new parent can feel lonely. Here are some ways to get out there and make new friends - and nurture your existing relationships (even while exhausted).
ParentCo.
Author